Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
