We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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