Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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