Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
