I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
