i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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