Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
