Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize