xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
