Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
id be glad to
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
