Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is my gift to your gina
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
