Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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