did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
