I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
