If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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