If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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