we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
