How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
