Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So many bounce houses so little time
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize