some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
