You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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