roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
