I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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