The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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