are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
