just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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