just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
