You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
