Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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