GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
