worst night to have a conscience
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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