This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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