the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize