I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
