she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
