I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
