It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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