we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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