Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
