singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
