So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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