Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
