My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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