Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
