shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
