I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize