FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
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