Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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