Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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