end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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