Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
