Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
