Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
