My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
