dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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