I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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