So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
