I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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