Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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