I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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