My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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