We're facebook friends in real life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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