you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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