I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
