So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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