some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
