It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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