i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
